Restorative practice and behaviour management

What is restorative practice?

More of an ethos than a set of strategies, restorative practice (RP) seeks to restore and build community. Every school in the country should be doing it. Human relationships are complicated, but there are easy wins — and RP is one of them.

Are restorative practice and behaviour management mutually exclusive?

Not at all. Much of the training I do is about the best ways to build relationships, and good relationships are what good communities are built upon. Great relationships need fair process, but the other essential element is what I call structured talk.

Have you ever listened to your partner or your child for three minutes without interrupting? Try it. It is really hard. We seem pre-programmed to interrupt with comments and advice. When we talk to others about our problems, we often just want to get things off our chest or talk them through — we do not always want solutions. It is the same in schools. Our usual social norms of conversation are not good enough. Schools benefit enormously from more formalised ways to communicate: not just between children and adults, but between children and children, and between colleagues.

What does RP look like?

Here is an example. Two pupils have been involved in an incident. A neutral third party — an adult or even another student — asks both parties these questions.

For those whose behaviour was challenging:

1. What happened?
2. What were you thinking at the time?
3. What have your thoughts been since?
4. Who has been affected by what you did?
5. In what way have you been affected?
6. What do you need to do to make things right?

For those who were harmed:

1. What did you think when you realised what had happened?
2. What have your thoughts been since?
3. How has this affected you and others?
4. What has been the hardest thing for you?
5. What do you think needs to happen to make things right?

Simplified version for primary:

1. What happened?
2. How did you feel?
3. Who has been affected?
4. How can we move on?

The neutral party simply asks the questions. They are not there to sort things out or act as judge. Notice that the questions do not seek to lay blame. They do not ask "Why did you do that?" It is simply a chance to talk and to be listened to. A chance to reflect.

The first few times, you may get predictable shrugs and "don't knows." Many pupils will simply be expecting the usual game of blame-laying and will switch off before they sit down. This is why the approach needs time before you see the full benefits. It is not successful every time. But shouldn't we give children the chance to explain their actions, even if they sometimes choose not to take it?